| because jamez did it... so do i |
[11 Feb 2005|01:01am] |
If you read this,
even if I don't speak to you often,
you must post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want,
it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your journal to see what people remember about you.
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[19 Jan 2005|02:15pm] |
things seem to be looking up, i guess.
i wish my credit card would hurry up and get here. i'm going to the florida mall with stacy on friday, and i'd really like to have the credit card. but it's not lookin like it will be here in time. i may have to reschedule. i'll be really upset though if it comes to that.
& k.p: i did talk to a counselor, right at the beginning of my downfall, i guess you could say. i told him everything. about how i'm feeling stressed, i can't concentrate, about carl, my family, work, everything. he said nothing. well, actually, he did say "well, it sure seems as though you have a lot on your plate at the moment." no advice, no prescription. just "come by my office next week and we'll talk some more." so i lost hope in a counselor. oh well.
i'm gonna go play a game now with my sister though.
i'm trying to keep updated. as often as i can at least.
<3
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[16 Jan 2005|12:14am] |
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i think i'm depressed.
i need medication.
i can't sleep at night.
i can't get out of bed in the morning.
i feel worthless.
i wonder... why does God put worthless people on the Earth? They don't do anything. They are really just a waste of space and other peoples time. i find myself wondering why i'm here. it's weird, it really is. i can't talk to my parents about anything. i'm holding back on the biggest secret, and i can't tell anyone. i told carl, but i regret it. only because i know that i shouldn't allow him to be apart of my life anymore.
i find so much time on my hands where all i do is think. like... i prayed to God for guidance everytime carl and i broke up. i asked Him to show me a sign leading me in the right direction, either to be with him, or not. and it's now that i see all of the signs. i mean, he cheated on me with her. i don't trust him. he lies to me all the time. he chooses a party over a night with me.
i've never felt so weak - like i have no control.
i've never felt so lost.
or confused.
i want to move.
far away...
what the hell is wrong with me?
i want to be paris hilton.
random, i know.
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[08 Dec 2004|10:45pm] |
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O. M. G. I have not updated in forever!!!
a lot has happened since my last update 10 years ago...
first, and most important: I dropped out of Alpha Xi! terrible, I know. it wasn't because I didn't like it, or I liked another sorority better, it just got to be WAY to stressful for me. It was sad, but it had to be done. I know I will rush again in the next year or so, because I absolutely adore the baby xi's. especially erin & elisa who seem to have taken me under their wing and offer me a place to live, rather than stay.
second: me and carl have pulled through and are doing great, i'm sure you were wondering.
third: i got my windows tinted on Ringo!
fourth: i get an increase in pay in January!!! thank GOD for the minimum wage raise. I'll be makin' $6.25 babay! It may not seem like a lot to you ungrateful people, but I'm getting paid $5.85 as it is. So that's a hell of a lot of money to me!
fifth: kati quit the other day. friggin asshole. if leah quits, i might as well die.
sixth: well, actually... there isn't really a sixth.
I'm gonna post some pictures tonight for you all though, so enjoy! I don't plan on posting all of my new ones, because I have some major studying to do. Afterall, it is finals week! I can not WAIT for Christmas vacation!!!
( have you missed me?! )
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[04 Nov 2004|03:47pm] |
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Just incase you were wondering, he was a good boy when he went to Tally.
Even when that bitch tried to dance up on him, he wasn't havin it.
Oh well, she can spread her STDs elsewhere.
Fuckin bitch.
I feel like I have to update more often now because Erin, one of my sisters, has now been added to my journal friends list. I don't know. I'll try though!
Erin and I spent an hour or so studying in Dupont this afternoon. Of course we took a half hour lunch break at the half hour mark of studying, but who cares. We actually did pretty good. At least I know what I really need to work on before the exam tomorrow morning. My exam is actually at 11, but it's not after noon, so I guess you'd call that morning. Right? Whatever.
At lunch, one of our sisters, Halie, Haley, Halle (i don't know) told us that we were going to be singing to the frat boys... like all of the sororities. I didn't let myself get to nervous, because Kellie is in Tri Delt and had never mentioned having to sing infront of the frat boys... Well I came upstairs to go on the computer, and sure enough, her away message says "Frat Sing!" So yeah, I'm nervous. Not about singing infront of the frat boys, but just about not knowing what we are supposed to sing. BLAH!
But yeah, that's enough for now. I have to try and get our symphony memorized before 5!!! One hour and counting! AHHHHHH!
<3
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| i'm almost finally out of words |
[29 Oct 2004|10:32pm] |
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John Mayer- "Daughters" |
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he's in tally.
so is that fucking bitch.
i can't stand her.
fucking bitch.
but i love him.
and he loves me.
and i trust him.
i think...
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[26 Oct 2004|09:07am] |
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i'm sorry to be saying this, but i have no pictures to post today.
i got so wasted Saturday night with the girls. I took one picture. Awesome. lol.
carl had to come pick me up because I was in no condition to drive. i puked and puke and puked... blah. It was just one of those nights.
I am working almost 30 hours this week. My last pay check was pretty good. I almost made it a week without spending the whole thing. It's a terrible habbit, I know.
I took another sociology exam today. I know if I had studied all four chapters I would have done pretty good on it, considering that I have been to one class out of the past 5.
I made a promise to myself that I was going to go to every class from now on. Pray that I do.
Me and Carl and going to Halloween Horror Nights on Thursday. He is going to Tallahassee Friday-Sunday. Asshole.
Well, I am going to go back to bed and take an hour nap before I have to start getting ready for work!
have a good day!
<3
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| who rocks the house? |
[19 Oct 2004|11:28am] |
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Nelly ft. Christina Aguilera - "Tilt Ya Head Back" |
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ALPHA XI ROCKS THE HOUSE!
that's right, i am now an Alpha Xi. I MADE IT!!! Woo hoo! I'm so excited! But...
how exactly do you be in a sorority? I mean, can I just go to the house whenever I want? I know most of the new girls, and some of the sisters... but I don't know what to do. We have a new member retreat this weekend, and the Xi's are all goin out to half times to dance on the bar (which is what we're known for) on saturday night... but i mean... is that it for now? is that all we are going to do is just email or call each other when we are going to go party? I don't live on campus so I don't see the girls as much as if I were to live on campus so I'm not sure what is going on. I'll have to find out soon so I'm not out of the loop. My first due is tomorrow. $100. Awesome.
But yea, that's why I've been MIA for a few days or whatever. Things have been so crazy here, and now I have to meet up with some people to talk about a research project that totally sucks ass.
I'm charging my digital camera for Friday/Saturday night so that I can send you guys pics of my new sisters, the hair cut, and RINGO!!! :)
<333
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| right beside you is where i belong |
[13 Oct 2004|06:11pm] |
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"Plan on Forever"- Sue Ann Carwell |
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had yet another exam today. it totally sucked ass. i wish i had known what to study for because i would have totally killed that thing. the test was written for like a 6 year old... except on Hinduism and Buddhism and shit. whatever. it's gay. that class is so gay. blah.
i have sociology tomorrow at 8 am. i can't seem to wake up early enough to get to that class. i've missed it 4 times in a row. i can't stay up for the whole debate tonight, which pisses me off, because i have to get some rest.
you can call me gay because i can't stop downloading shania twain songs. i've listened to them non stop for the past two days.
i have a conference tomorrow with my english teacher on my presidential campain ad essay. awesome. i can wait.
"from this moment..."
sorry. that was random, i know.
45 minutes and i leave to meet my new rho gamma. great fun. i get to drive my mom's car because i am already at my 50 miles for the day in the rental p.o.s. i can't wait 'til my Ringo comes back from the shop.
there are 4 express passes left for halloween horror nights. that freaks me out. that means there is going to SO many people there that night. what the hell. assholes.
well. i have a headache. i've become a coffee addict. not cool.
everyone better watch the debate. george bush is such a dumbass, it's actually educational and humorous. i can't believe people actually want another 4 more years of stupidity. awesome.
i <3 john kerry
but we'll talk about that another night.
<3333
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[10 Oct 2004|07:32pm] |
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jeeze. sorry it's been so long since i last updated! things have been really crazy around here.
anyway, yeah. i decided, along with kellie, to sign up for rush. i'm actually more excited about it than i thought i would. i'm really interested in Pi Phi, Alpha Xi, and Tri Delta. Alpha Xi is way to damn expensive though... so basically, it's really just the other two. can't wait for this week to start!!!
things have been going surprisingly well with carl the past few days. i can't wait for halloween horror nights. i can't wait.
i hate talking to people i don't want to talk to. some people just don't get the hint either. don't you just hate when that happens?
school is getting harder and harder. i honestly feel like i just bombed both of my exams. i studied and studied and drank 3+ cups of coffee and studied some more... and when it came time... i blanked. totally blanked. how many people in the electoral college? i said like 478. 3 from DC, 100 senate, and like... 375 electors. what the fuck is wrong with me. i know this shit. kellie quizzed me not even ten minutes before the exam. why do i do that shit? $13,500 a semester and i can't pass a fucking exam.
nathan, my 18 year old uncle, leaves tomorrow morning at 2 am to go to guam for three years. don't you just love the navy?
i cut my hair to my shoulders. i actually love it. carl loves it too. i finally did something with my hair that he likes. amazing. i'll take pictures soon enough. don't fret.
i'm almost out of debt. next pay check and i'll finally be in the clear. isn't that ridiculous? i never thought i'd be one of those college kids who seriously can't even afford a gum ball. i had to toss pennies and shit into the toll a few weeks ago. what the hell. that's just un called for.
i feel like there's been so much more going on, but i guess not.
<333
some people will just never change.
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| baby boy, make me lose my breath |
[28 Sep 2004|02:21pm] |
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Destiny's Child - "Lose my breath" |
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yay! I got my laptop back today!!! I'm so happy! I feel like it's been forever since I last saw it. Goodness.
Damn, livejournal is lookin pretty snazzy. Snazzy? Whoa, where did that come from?
Man, Jeanne was a pussy. I thought that one was supposed to cause more damage than all three put together. Shit. I hope that's not how we end the hurricane season. I swore that hurricanes were supposed to be like so scary. Thunderstorms are scarier than that shit. It just rains like for 2 days straight, and it's REALLY REALLY windy. What the fuck is that all about? At least in thunderstorms it's raining AND lightning and thundering... that's scary. The only thing that sucks about those damn hurricanes is going without power for a few days. That's torture. Blah.
So my dad brought up the subject of getting a new car again. I almost get upset when he talks about it, because I don't like being teased like that. I really want a convertable... like I REALLY want one. It's between a black/black top eclipse, or like a cream/black top bug. If I don't get a convertable, I want a sunroof at least. I mean, what the fuck, I live in Florida. Every Floridian should have either a sun roof or a convertable.
Actually, you know what I really want? I want the new Chevy Cobalt SS. I love it. It comes out in a few weeks, but it won't be 0.0% APR, which is what we are looking for. Cars are damn expensive.
I have my first exam this Thursday. I'm on the verge of shitting my pants. Why? Because it's on chapters 1-4. How far have I gotten? Well, I have read chapters 1 & 4. Nothing in between. Stupid, I know. My second exam is Friday! AH!
You know what's exciting? Phi Sig is having another party Thursday night. It's Grafitti Night I guess. Everyone is supposed to wear white shirts, and people go around and write on your shirt all night. lol. Sounds fun? I think so.
Oh yeah, my car wouldn't start again. You would think it was like the first focus ever made or some shit. I am starting to hate that damn car.
By the way, I'm in debt. $221 in debt to be exact. Not in debt to my parents, but to my bank. wtf. I know.
Hey... give me some good songs to download! Kell and I need some crazy songs for our upcoming trips to college night. I just downloaded "Car Wash" by Christina Aguilera ft. Missy Elliot. That's um... cool? I actually feel like going to wash my car now. If only it were here and not in the shop... again. Wow, this song is gay. I think I'll go hang myself now.
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| you will always be my boo |
[21 Sep 2004|03:59pm] |
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Usher & Alicia Keys <3 |
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I have a lecture tonight at 7:00. Exciting? Eh. It's on some court case. We aren't allowed to walk out in the middle of it either. I guess a lot of speakers have denied our requests to visit the campus because Steston students frequently walk out while they are speaking. Nice. At least I will be getting extra credit for it. Oh wait, I forgot. I have to write a response paper on the lecture. We asked, "Do you want it double spaced?" Her answer was "Uh... make it two pages." Uh, ok...? What the fuck.
Had a most enjoyable time today with Kellie on our way back to the campus. Lord knows why this mini spear or some shit was in my back seat. Goodness, is all I can say.
I definitely can not wait for Friday to get here. I'm so excited to see everyone again. PARTAY!
( click me, do me, damnit )
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[21 Sep 2004|11:54am] |
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check out my new layout! i know, you're jealous!!!
thanks to the lovely roxy (sgrlips)!!!
i love love love love it!
back to stetson now to meet miss kellie for lunch!
<3
p.s. my laptop is broken!
i gotta send that shit out thursday after mi examo!
whatever that means. lol.
*wipes tear*
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[09 Sep 2004|12:24pm] |
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We're going on three major hurricanes in less than two months. Nice. Ivan is now a category 5 with sustained winds of up to 160 mph and wind gusts that exceed greater than that. All I can say is holy shit.
( HURRICANE IVAN )
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| i want a love that will last |
[07 Sep 2004|09:16pm] |
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Renee Olstead- "A Love That Will Last" |
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i survived frances
eat that biatch
what now
frances wasn't all that bad actually. it was really windy and really rainy for like two days straight... but that's about it!!!
our power just came back on like 2 hours ago. nice, right? i know. the university had some serious damage and will most likely remain closed until monday at least. kellie thinks it will be closed all next week too. stetson is really bad about letting us know about this stuff. if i hadn't gotten my power back on tonight, i would have never been able to get online and look at the page to find out about not having to go to school this week. crazy mofos.
speaking of mofos... i just wanted to say that i heart my persian friend (lol, i'm just kiddin nigga! lol. i mean, white boy. what? i'm confused now) , daniel aka ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) afro_pix because his entries make me laugh so hard. i don't know. whatever.
so back to my stetson story. i have nothing better to talk about, so i'm just going to post the pictures that they posted.
( stetson university damage pics )
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[01 Sep 2004|02:11pm] |
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for those of you who don't know me very well...
i'm a big fat pussy when it comes to storms. so as you can imagine, i am freaking out because of Frances. It hasn't even hit land yet, and it's already pouring over here. the university is closed tomorrow and friday, and everyone who lives on campus was evacuated. omg. i want to like take every animal and homeless person into my house to make sure they are all safe. i'm freaking out and i'm in a nice house that should be able to withstand the 100 mph winds... imagine being homeless!!!
my dad just picked up our generator. too bad there's like no gas available to run it. people can be so greedy in situations like this. if there were two gallons of water left, i would take one, and leave the other for someone else. most people would fight for both of them. we've been searching all over the county for at least ONE 5 gallon gas tank. the second the stores make them available to customers, these people are like buying 10 of them at a time. it's so rude.
well i'm going to go and do some laundry just incase our power goes out! don't want to be stuck for a week with no clean clothes like we were two weeks ago after charley! well i had clean clothes... but you know what i mean. lol.
( Frances )
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| stolen from afropix or something... |
[31 Aug 2004|09:44am] |
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Lloyd & Ashanti- "Southside" |
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Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I’ll reply and tell you. No lies, all honesty.
Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse.
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